It's been really quiet here lately, and while I won't apologize or explain everything that's been going on, I will let you all know that we're all okay, trying to get through the holidays and enjoy them at the same time :-) and that we have a To Do List from here to Tokyo.

We've "unofficially" bought a house, which'll be available somewhere between May 2006 and July 15 2006. We won't be able to arrange the mortgage until my Dutch citizenship is awarded (we need that in order for my income to be include in the mortgage application.) Somewhere along the line it became bank policy that you don't give mortgages to hardworking, decent residents who, together with the citizens they are married to, are also doing their best to raise two responsible, decent future taxpaying citizens -- UNLESS said resident also has a permanent green card or decides to cough up 350 euri and apply for citizenship. Both processes take -- in my case -- up to a year. I applied for citizenship in June, and got my letter in November that my case was ready for the Queen to sign, and that that could take another three months. So we're looking at February, at the latest. Meanwhile the mortgage rate climbs and falls, staying just unstable enough that I'm ready for a nervous breakdown NOW. I just want to arrange things and have it DONE. Every day I feel more and more guilty, that it's my fault (well, my non-citizen status' fault) that things are so up in the air. When I feel guilty I try to make it up to everyone and I just don't have the energy to do it anymore. I don't think I'll make it to February.

Plus, we have to sell the house we currently own -- how much stress is that? I try to tackle one thing a day from our list, but every day seems to bring two more things to the list. I'm at the point where I'm ready to call the Salvation Army and have them haul it all away.

And my own job is CRAZY busy, with no positive feedback (except in a safe little e-mail sent to dozens of employees, because God forbid that you should take the time and actually talk to someone and look them in the eye and say, "Man you guys are doing GREAT."

And then I feel guilty, because why am I complaining? I have so much. I have a husband who works hard -- 12-hour-days -- for our comfortable house, two healthy children, money to buy groceries and clothing, and books and fun things, a job that gets me out of the house two or three days a week.

So let the Immigration and Naturalisation Service tie itself up in knots, let this new house slip between our fingers because we couldn't finance it in time, let my boss hide behind his screen and his high Dutch.

I've just about had it, and I'm taking a break from it all.

THAT is why it's so quiet here, people -- when things get back to normal, a little, and the house issue is resolved -- I'll have more time and energy and interest in posting about our lives.

Tot ziens!